Men's Room Personalities

Not just for Delco, but for wherever you read this.

I think you can learn a lot about a guy by what he does in the men’s room. Of course I don’t sit and watch a guy take a piss, but sometimes you notice things that you can’t help but notice.

- The guy who pisses really close to the urinal: This guy looks like he’s trying to stick his penis into some hole in the urinal. He doesn’t want anyone to get a peek at him by accident but his general stature makes him get unwanted looks anyway because it looks so unnatural.
- The guy who doesn’t use any hands to piss: This guy is multi-tasking. While taking a piss, he has his hands free to put on his hips or to make dinner. I think you need a very large flaccid penis to do this, because I find it impossible to pee like this without pulling down my pants all the way. If I don’t hold my underwear back, I’ll splash urine all over the place.
- The guy who puts his hand on the wall in front of him when he pisses: This guy makes peeing look like a painful event. It looks like he's passing a stone or something. He’s also very brave because I’m not touching anything in a public bathroom that I don’t have to, especially the wall behind a urinal.
- The guy who pees two feet away from the urinal: This guy is the complete opposite of the first guy. He likes it to all hang out and doesn’t care what other guys think. I think you need a large penis for this too, because 1. you have to be able to have enough length to actually hit the urinal, and 2. you wouldn’t be letting it hang out if you were embarrassed about your size.
- The guy who whistles while taking a piss: I hate this guy. He’s always so god-damn happy and worst of all thinks that everyone will enjoy his rendition of The Andy Griffith Show theme. Usually people don’t. He’ll get an eye-roll from me if we come face-to-face.
- The guy who wants to talk to you while you’re going to the bathroom: I don’t like this guy either. Starting a conversation with a guy while both your dicks are out is not the way to go. Someone not as understanding as me would take exception to that sort of thing. The bathroom is not for talking, especially a men’s bathroom.
- The guy who shakes his dick 20 times before he’s done: Not only is this unnecessary, but it makes the people in back of him wait longer in line. Three shakes is all it takes – hey, what a great poem that would be!

DCCC re-opens today but....

DCCC students will be welcomed to the post-VTech college campus. I hope the students don't have a lot of books to carry, because they are out of luck without backpacks. Doesn't this administration know that if all the students were allowed to carry guns then any attempt to create a catastrophe could be eliminated immediately? sheesh. Taken from the DCCC main page: There will be a visible police presence at all campuses, in addition to the College’s existing Security officers. Access to all campuses will be limited. Anyone reporting to any College location is not permitted to bring bags, backpacks or other parcels into our buildings. Clear plastic bags may be used to carry personal items. Random searches will be conducted and metal detectors will be utilized. All students and College employees will be called upon to remain vigilant and report suspicious behavior on the part of any individual to College Security or the police immediately.